Bajrangi Bhaijaan

Bhaijaan puts in lot of jaan!

Inordinate delay in watching and reviewing Bajrangi Bhaijaan (BB) was purely intentional. Off late, I have developed an auto immune allergic reaction to Bhaijaan and he has instigated bouts of migraine most of the times with his kicks and Jai Hos. Last time I adored him in Tere Naam 12 years back and he surprised me (not floored) again in BB.

To make any good movie, basic foundation stone is a strong script , a director with IQ level above 100 and lead actor who doesn't interfere in the concept. Luckily 2/3 things worked for BB. Salman Khan has given up his goons bashing, train stopping, larger than life avatar to portray a believable character. I won't appreciate his acting prowess here but would definitely admire his attempt to do something different.

Thankfully, script is written by a KV Vijay (of Baahubali fame) and he has penned down something with a fresh appeal. Plot is pretty much predictable and Bajrangi's character is shown way too naive. But, the film has a "feel good" appeal and the chemistry between Bajrangi and Munni has some magical moments. For a change, this movie doesn't show Pakistan in bad light. To a large extent, I would attribute success of BB to child actor Harshaali Malhotra. Her innocent smile and charming presence wins your heart completely. Character of Nawaz is based on youtube sensation Chand Nawab, which was a hilarious deja-vu. Nawaz was brought in towards 2nd half but that infuses energy into the film at right time. Rajesh Sharma has a small role but I loved his work. He is becoming one of the sought after actors for character roles post Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Rest of the characters were mostly placeholders without any impact.

Entry of Salman is picturized beautifully with Selfie Le Le Re. More than the lyrics and Music, I loved the colorful visuals and slow motion shots. Song has a typical UP vernacular appeal. Bhar do jholi meri is a classical qawwali with characteristic trance-sufi appeal. Adnan Sami has rendered it beautifully though I wish Sabri brothers also got their credit. Scenes of Pakistan have beautiful cinematography with locales of Mandawa, Jhunjunu, Sonmarg and Zozi La.

Trivia:

1. Famous video of Pakistan Journalist Chand Nawab which inspired Nawazuddin's character. Some things are so bad that they are actually good (Line immortalized by Kanti Shah's Gunda)

2. Original Qawwali by Sabri Brothers. Though I liked film version of Adnan Sami better. Especially lines.. Aaka ji.. Nabi ji .. Sarkare Madina.. gives you goosebumps

Verdict: This is one of the clean movies which can be watched with entire family. It is just one of those above average films, which are good to watch but offers nothing great to remember. I have showered my appreciation because Bhaijaan had set up a very very low benchmark for him in last decade.

Ratings: 3.5/5 (Extra points for Bhaijaan for trying something different)

Dil Dhadakne Do

Don't kill me pls - Dil Dhadakne Do!

ऐसी घटिया फिल्म देख कर, रुक जाती हैं साँसे, थम जाती हैं धड़कनें 

कुछ दिन बचे हैं ज़िन्दगी के, जी लेने दो 

धड़कता हुआ ही अच्छा लगता है, कृपया दिल धड़कने दो

Dil Dhadakne Do can be very well compared to buffet spread of Chutney Chang, which has 108 dishes but none of it looks appealing to you. Instead of complementing each other, as a matter of fact, they rather confuse you. Zoya Akhtar - How many people you wanted to stuff in a single movie! What was the point of playing passing the parcel with camera? Couldn't you have chosen 4-5 characters and tell a compelling story with them. We have seen enough of Kekta Kapoor on TV, don't need to replicate it on silver screen.

Entire story (whatever little it is) is narrated by Pluto Doggy Mehra that how each character thinks and behaves. Sometimes, you'll feel as if you are watching a Discovery program on "Human Psychology and Social Behavior as experienced by canines". Right from Anil Kapoor to Ranveer Singh to Farhan Akhtar to Priyanka Chopra, every single character a loser in the film. Everyone's marriage is falling apart. Everyone is helpless.

I could almost hear this legendary song in the background score:
गम दिए मुस्तक़िल, इतना नाज़ुक है दिल, ये ना जाना,
हाय हाय ये ज़ालिम ज़माना |

Acting of every character is utter crap. Ranveer Desperate Singh, Anil Jackass Kapoor, Priyanka Piggy Chops, Anushka swollen lips Sharma - Shame on you for such dismal performance. Shefali Shah was the only saving grace and she managed to exude vivid emotions with excellence, amidst bunch of hopeless nincompoops. Aamir Khan gave voice to Pluto Doggy Mehra. To some extent his narrative managed to sew loose pieces of incidents together in a chronological order. But he said "Dil" so many times, I am sure he must have blurted out "Dil Ki Deal, Snapdeal" a zillion times in rehearsal. Farhan Akhtar was quite capable to pull off entire film single handedly but his entry was post interval. It is like giving last 5 overs to AB Devillers and expecting him to hit a century!

There was no editing done for the film. How could you stretch this baseless banter to 170 minutes? Unbelievable! Soundtrack of the film is boring and none of the songs are catchy. Shankar Ehsaan Loy have disappointed us this time. There is an interesting trivia about song "Pehli Baar". This song didn't use any choreographer. Director asked Ranveer & Anushka to do it impromptu, so that their sizzling chemistry could be seen onscreen. Well, I could only see their incapability loud and clear.

Verdict: Please spare yourself this torture and bless me for sacrificing my evening and warning you in advance. 

Ratings: 1/5 (Points just for you Shefali Shah)

Welcome to Karachi

7 reasons why I won't watch - Welcome to Karachi

Many of you have asked me about my opinion of Welcome to Karachi. I have decided not to watch it until it comes on Set Max within 2-3 weeks. Here are my Top 7 reasons for not watching it. Some of these reasons might resound well with you:

1. I am allergic to bullshit and Jackky Bhagnani is a known allergen.

           2. This movie would be 6^th Flop in a row for Jackky Bhagnani. Even Unmukt Chand has better track record in IPL.

     3. In Jackky’s previous movie Youngistaan, his role was inspired by wannabe young PM – Mr Pappu. Just imagine what Jackky aspires to be!

   4. Lead actress for the film is Lauren Gottlieb. That sounds more like a tongue twister than the name of an actor. 

    5. I don’t like anything which is remotely associated with Pakistan. Whether it is Karachi sweets or Karachi’s streets. 

    6. When Producer Vasu Bhagnani has done so much cost cutting in story, direction, actor etc. We should do the same for tickets. Moreover, Tickets aren't priced Rs 100/- anymore! 

7. Quoting what Rajeev Masand said  “Such scenes of inspired lunacy are sadly in short supply here. The film drags on incessantly, a bunch of unimpressive songs stretching out the running time. When the lights come back on in the end, you’ll want to run for the exit.”